I opened the canned fish for dinner.
I like canned fish because someone told me that's fish.Not fake disgusting something manufactured in China or somewhere.

There were 3 fish.I ate them.
I killed 3 fish only to live 8 hours or so.
and I will live much longer than 8 hours.

I wondered how many fish I need to live.

There is a food chain.
The higher you go up in the pyramid,the more food you need.
Now human beings are the top of the pyramid.Nothing eats us most of the time.
"What do I live for ?"
is one inevitable question for human beings ,I think.
The higher you go up in the pyramid,the more the question weighs in you.
Imagine to turn the pyramid upside down.
Just like the triangle,you end up having this unavoidable question like burden.

If your PC asks,
"Do you want to die without any pain just right now ?"
do you think you'll click yes ?

I think I will choose to cancel it. Why ? I don't know.

Historically,a lot of wise men were struggling to escape from this shadow.
They ended up proving earth is sphere,and even invented nuclear weapons.
Science has been successful to give us answer "How".
but we still don't know anything about "Why".

Yes,apple is red "because" it contains a lot of anthocyan.
ok,now you know "how" it looks red. but WHY it contains a lot of anthocyan.
and WHY anthocyan looks red.and WHY you wonder why?

This is how people invented religion.
Not to fall into the perfect dark in your mind,
we invented a virtual world in our minds in common.
The virtual world might not exist,but if you define what is actually going on at a real time as something to exist,
how can you deny that virtual world's existence ?
so after all,we are killing ourselves in the deep valley of the real world and the virtual world.
and that question "why do you live ?" is still there.
Nothing has changed.

I once decided to ignore this endless question.
but I think we should face this fact recently.
If you ignore that question,the question will ignore you too.
It's like
If you ignore yourself,you'll be ignored by yourself too.