It's funny that

attempts not to think about anything

are becoming an industry recently.

Some people call it Yoga.

Some people call it meditation.

There are various of the names for it,

but they try to do the same thing.

"Think about nothing."

Why is it so difficult ?

I don't know.

I always try to do it too,

but that's really hard.

It should be the easiest thing to do in cost benefit balance wise,

but mental things don't seem to work like accountings.

I'm aware of myself feeling concerned or excited about something all the time and

it wastes me out.

but I feel scared of having NOTHING in the center of the mind.

I call the center of the mind "crown".

You can not help having something in the crown.

You are scared,annoyed,excited or even happy because of something in the crown.

It looks like you do want to have something there to feel scared or annoyed or something.

Even if there is nothing to feel,

you are so eager to find out something to put in the crown.

Everyone's a genius when it comes to inventing what to put in the crown.

My old friend went to a meditation training in Thailand.

It's a temple to deliver meditation course called Vipassana.

It was so hot and humid.

My friend told a monk that they can not concentrate on the meditation because it's crazy hot.

The monk said,if it's not hot,it will be something else.


After a long hard effort,I sometimes manage to have nothing in the crown.

then I see so many of me s having the same root in the crown.

Me in anger.

Me in anxiety.

Me in agitation.

etc..

like petals of a flower.

The motif of mandala might be from this observation.