As I'm watching my turtles,

I wonder if I should release them or not.

They have not gone out of the cases for about 18 years.

I don't think they know how to hunt or hibernate.


but more serious problem is

why I am thinking about that.


I always want to do something right.

I always want to be good.

This could be called instinct of human beings.

However,we are not given the sense to tell what's good and what's not good.

Even murder is justified in war.


We invent purposes.

To earn money,

To live long,

To grow up,

To love,

etc

but they all seem to be cheap substitutions

for the question,

what's good ?

Everyone wants to be good,in their world.

but nobody knows why,and what is that "goodness".


In my university,we are taught it's self-realization.

but what's to realize ?

I want to do this today.

I wanted to do that yesterday.

Maybe I will want to do something different tomorrow.

Nobody knows.

There is still the question in a different shirt.

Asserting something is dangerous too.

They act like they already know the answer.

so they can feel so advantaged.

but that's just from their complex.


Sometimes they think they already know what it is.

sometimes it's allah,

sometimes it's family,

sometimes it's career.

Positively or passively,they attack people who doubt it,

because they WANT to believe that is the answer.

They don't like them to question it so they have to face the truth.


All the agony comes from this fact.

We all want to be good

but don't know what's good.