When I was having shower, I cleared my throat.
then I noticed I sounded so much like my mom.

She smokes a lot so her voice is low and rough like a man.

I wonder how much we can be ourselves.
This is a question about our free will too.

My earliest memory was when I was washed in a bowl.
All the people were wearing masks and I saw pale blue curtains.

They say it was when I was 1 or 2 month old ?
I don't know because I haven't had a baby,but they say it's almost impossible to remember.
Whether you believe it or not,I remember since when I was really young.
then my parents didn't have more kids so I am an only child.
and they are Japanese and the hospital was in Tokyo,
so I am Japanese.
They gave me what they thought I needed.
I was raised to be their projection of their complex.
I was their reflection of the weakness.
Like trying to fill a hole in their soul,
they kept giving me toys,stationaries,clothes,video games ,and money
as if I wanted them.
I was so sick and tired of acting as if I was happy to have it all.
What actually attracted me was collecting insects or lizards.
and they thought ,ok,it's time to train him to be more independent !
then while I didn't catch up with anything,
I was labelled to be a spoiled brat.
They say,that was all for love.
but actually their deeds were from their dark side,complex in the deep of their mind.

Anyway,I am labelled as Japanese.
and I inherited their DNA.
I have had their culture installed.

They are crucially important factors to decide my life,but I have nothing to do with them.
I haven't voted for most of the laws to restrict me.
Families think I'm a member of them but I don't.
I can't rip off my DNA and the culture.
By using the tiny piece of the freedom,what can I do ?
How much can I be who I am ?
What's left for me ?

I wrote it pretty personally,but I hope many people can share the feeling
as their personal issue and connect themselves to this circumstances.

Lily Allen said everyone's at it.

When we were born,99% of the potential circumstances are already set.
After the birth,how far can we crawl ?
What space is left for us ?
How much are we allowed to be ourselves ?

This is what I wonder recently.