A man asked me ,"Did you go to somewhere in your vacation ?"

I replied ,"No,I stayed at home.Nowhere 's worth to go."

He said ,"If you think anywhere is fun,that's fun don't you know ?"

I thought then if you think your home is fun,you find it fun to stay at home ,asshole. and I left.

I haven't hung around for about a year.

Haven't even gone somewhere for leisure,

because I don't think it's fun.

Let's be honest to ourselves.

Is a party fun for you ?

Is a movie fun ?

How about TV ?

You may find it fun for the first time,

and you try to recapture that feeling after the 3rd time or 4th time don't you ?


I decided to shut myself in the house and force myself to see

what makes me feel so.

I force myself to face this fact.


Someone said,I'm too negative.

The person travels around in the world,

having a fulfilled life

with insomnia.


The person tried to oppress the true feeling

and something took a revenge against it.


I don't know what it is.


I wait for a weekend to come,

but I don't have anything to do.


I'm trying to see something in the dark.


Some people say,

"The secret is"

to keep your TV out of the bed room or

to have sunshine in the morning or

to talk to as many people as you can.


but I can see them writhing in agony.

It's not the answer.


People in north hemisphere like to go to tropical resorts.

They say it's good to go for a change.

Luckily or unluckily,when I was a child,

my parents were kind of successful so they took me to those places for a couple of times,

but that's enough.

It was enough to know that's nothing but an escape.

If they stay in Bali for 1 month,

they spend the first 2 weeks to forget about their work

and spend the rest 2 weeks to be depressed being pressured by work.

The end.

It's not a solution at all.

People who live in a resort places

live in even worse circumstances than us.

There is nobody happy.


The man who got the world , Bill Gates

donates billions of dollars.

He is one of us who writhes in agony.


My parents are finally facing the problem

now that their business is not going well.

They used to have reasons to keep them distracted

because they were busy.

However,the time has come to them

to seriously think

why they were married ,what they have done

and what they live for.

Robert Rubin said,

"Even if you become rich,something that made you want to become rich

will still remain there."


I see some people facing this matter in their 20s.

They sometimes go back to school,

they sometimes go on a trip,

they sometimes get married.

I decided to tackle it

to show you the pieces of my soul.

I hope you can see your own reflection.


Charles Bukowski said,

"Life is ugly as it looks.

but you feel like you can put up with another couple of days,don't you ?"

Yes,I do.

and that's what Buddha said too.